Friday, August 28, 2015

Committing mistakes or even blunder is not abnormal in human life. It's not unusual to realize the same and then repent for the wrongdoings either.
It happens with all of us, may be in varying frequency. Based on our normal learning and also on our traditional value system, we are expected to take a lesson from the whole thing and also take a firm resolve not to repeat the same mistake again in future, to finally move forward in the course of life's journey with a positive note.

In this way, some of us do try to follow the best principles governing the life of all better people including the great men across the globe.
 But,what majority of us normally do? 
Not surprisingly however, if we look around to observe what majority of us are normally doing in this respect, it is found to our dismay that committing mistakes and repenting thereafter goes on parallel track again and again despite a firm resolve at times and in spite of going through  some punishments too.
It is found that this group of people are found to follow predominantly either of these two behavior patterns in their day to day life - i) Submissive or ii) Aggressive. 
These set of people either do not know when to speak, what to speak or when it is far better to simply keep shut. Usually, they keep on speaking without thinking. Similarly, they keep on doing things badly without thinking and reviewing. They either fail to take a firm stand or do take a stand but fail to present their point of view logically and calmly on any issue. This is visibly reflected in their interaction and working style almost everywhere including the place where they are working.
 Interesting, but…   
Interestingly, both submissive and aggressive persons are opposite in nature and normally suffer from inferiority and superiority complex respectively which lead them to have fatal diseases like blood pressure, hypertension, diabetes, kidney problems, to name a few.
 “Yes, Sir” kind
Persons having submissive behavior pattern are of 'Yes, Sir' kind. They are inclined or by nature willing to submit to the orders and wishes of others, more so of their superior authority. In other words, this set of people are ready to say 'yes, sir' to their bosses for any good or bad thing, no matter they might spend sleepless nights afterwards or pay a heavy price for this today or tomorrow. 
 “Hiring-Firing” kind
On the other hand, aggressive persons always try to dictate their terms and behave in 'Hiring-Firing' mode. They knowingly show one-up-man-ship gesture in every action and try to remain O.K. at the cost of others.  Obviously, this group of persons dislike individuals who are straight forward, analytical, unbiased and objective. By natural choice, they like submissive people the most and hence keep themselves surrounded by such yes-men.
 Masters of Disproportionate Stress
 To say the least, these two sets of people - submissive and aggressive, commit mistakes after mistakes, and then repent at times. Ironically, aggressive ones put the blame conveniently on their subordinates and on circumstantial factors. On the other hand, the submissive ones are found to be willing to take the responsibility even for the mistakes which they have not committed. But, truth being otherwise, it keeps on chasing both of them, submissive as well as aggressive persons, to ultimately result in self-created disproportionate stress and related major health issues.  
 Then, what do we do? Is it easy and doable? Yes, 100%.
 In order to ensure a normal happy life, it is desirable to ‘Be Assertive’ instead of being submissive or aggressive in one’s  behavior as being assertive is nothing but being communicative, confident, mature, frank, balanced, decisive,  empathetic, caring, objective, competent, humorous, relaxed and logical.
And undoubtedly, all these positive traits in one's personality do guarantee a better living in any situation anywhere across the world. To say, review your existing behaviour pattern discreetly, start taking corrective measures gradually with regular impact evaluation and finally be an assertive person.
Before signing off tonight, let us enjoy what Sharon Anthony Bower says in these lines: The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well-being of others.

As always, I'm keen to know what do you think on this subject. Hence, request you to post comments to share your views and experiences.

# Click here to enjoy my Blog in Hindi, "Chalte, Chalte" (चलते, चलते)

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