BE ASSERTIVE TO STAY HEALTHY AND HAPPY

Sunday, August 10, 2025


Committing mistakes or even blunders is not abnormal in human life. It's not unusual to realize the same and then repent for the wrongdoings either. It happens with all of us, maybe in varying frequency. Based on our normal learning and also on our traditional value system, we are expected to take a lesson from the whole thing and also take a firm resolve not to repeat the same mistake again in future, to finally move forward in the course of life's journey with a positive note. In this way, some of us do try to follow the best principles governing the life of all better people including the great men across the globe.

But if we look around to observe what many of us are actually doing in this respect, it is found that committing mistakes and repenting thereafter goes on parallel track again and again despite a firm resolve at times and in spite of going through some punishments too. 

Interestingly, this group of people are found to follow predominantly either of these two behaviour patterns - Submissive or Aggressive in their day-to-day life. Of course, nobody behaves in exactly the same way throughout the day. It depends on many factors including the circumstances and the action or response of another engaging person. The overlapping impact is at times noticeable in their behaviour. But it is true that primarily everybody follows one or the other behaviour pattern.

These sets of people (submissive & aggressive) either do not know when to speak, what to speak or when it is far better to simply remain silent. Similarly, they keep on doing things badly without thinking, realising and reviewing. They either fail to take a firm stand or do take a stand but fail to present their point of view clearly and logically. This is visibly reflected in their interaction and working style almost everywhere including the place where they work. Interestingly, both submissive and aggressive persons are opposite in their basic nature and normally suffer from inferiority and superiority complexes respectively which lead them to have health issues like hypertension, diabetes, kidney problems, to name a few.

Persons having submissive behaviour patterns are primarily of 'Yes, Sir' kind. They are inclined or by nature willing to submit to the orders and wishes of others, more so of their superior authority. In other words, this set of people are ready to say 'yes, sir' to their bosses or to powerful persons for any right or wrong thing, no matter whether they might spend sleepless nights afterwards or pay a heavy price for this today or tomorrow. 

On the other hand, aggressive persons generally try to dictate their terms and behave in the 'Shouting & Firing' mode. They show the gesture of one-upmanship in their actions and try to remain okay at the cost of others. Normally, this group of persons dislike individuals who are straightforward, meritorious, planned, analytical and unbiased. Instead, they like submissive people the most and hence keep themselves surrounded by such yes-men.

To say, these two sets of people - submissive and aggressive, generally commit mistakes after mistakes, and then repent at times. Ironically, aggressive ones always try to put the blame conveniently on their subordinates and on circumstantial factors. On the other side, the submissive ones are found to be willing to take the responsibility even for the mistakes which they have not committed. But truth being otherwise, it keeps on chasing both submissive and aggressive persons, which ultimately result in self-created disproportionate stress and related major health problems - both mental and physical. 

Then, what should one do? Is it easy and doable? Yes, 100%.  In order to ensure a healthy and happy living, it is desirable to ‘Be Assertive’ in one’s behaviour instead of being submissive or aggressive. In fact, being assertive is nothing but being confident, caring, communicative, mature, methodical, frank, balanced, decisive, empathetic, objective, humorous, relaxed and logical. Undeniably, such positive traits in one's personality do guarantee a better living in any situation anywhere across the world. 

Hence, it is better to review your existing behaviour pattern discreetly, start taking corrective measures gradually with regular impact evaluation and finally be an assertive person to lead a far more meaningful life

As always, I'm keen to know what you think on this subject. Hence, I request you to post your comments to share your valuable opinion.   (hellomilansinha@gmail.com)     

 Published in "Morning India" daily

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