WHAT’S THE GAIN IN PLAYING BLAME AND COMPLAINT GAME?

It is interesting to find that besides the normal games like football, hockey, cricket, badminton, tennis, kabaddi etc., day in and day out a large number of people find themselves engaged in one of the finest and funniest games of the world - The Blame & Complaint Game. Be it the workplace, our home, playground, political and administrative field, media space or any place you name, many of us try to put the blame of our own shortcomings or failure on others thereby trying to keep ourselves clean, safe and secured. But is it the right way to keep ourselves clean, safe and secure or is it just bullshit or an illusion, which manifests our inner weakness and negative attitude? Experts say that our general tendency is to blame much more than we praise. Likewise, even without performing basic duties as a citizen and fulfilling primary family or social obligations, many of us are in the habit of complaining all the time against persons, circumstances, policies, systems and other matters. To say, such people believe and support the culture of complaint instead of culture of compliment and improvement. Here, I don’t mean to say that we should not complain against the wrongdoings or any unjust actions of any individual or institution. Yes, we must complain, but with an intention to improve the system or make the person realise his fault and improve. Similarly, we should compliment an institution and a person for their extraordinary actions or initiatives for encouraging them to continue that spirit and doing even better.

Sadly, in today’s politics across the world, blaming and complaining is the major game being played by all parties in their own countries in varying degrees more by design than by default. This activity gets a huge boost as soon as the dates are announced for any election – panchayat, municipality, state assembly or parliament. In matters of interpersonal or social conflicts or controversies too, people shamelessly engage themselves in this toxic game. Ironically, gossip stories related to such socio-political happenings are found to capture lots of media space at the cost of serious discussion on and in-depth analysis of basic issues concerning common man’s welfare and overall progress of the country. This trend needs to be reversed, sooner the better.

It is very common that ruling parties blame the opposition and vice-versa. Just think, can all policies and actions of any ruling party be wrong and anti-people? Similarly, can all criticism of policies and actions of the ruling party by any opposition party be termed as prejudiced and wrong? But both ruling and opposition parties remain engaged in this game whatever be the statements or actions of either side without thinking that the voters, whom they are trying to impress, are watching them and are generally not feeling good about it. After all, today’s voters know the reality. To talk about the global scene, it is annoying to observe the extent of blame and complaint game being played by the heads of government while engaged in the actual war or tariff war or cold war.

In fact, blaming others for our own mistakes takes time and energy away from our own improvement, which is much needed for the genuine/real development of every individual, corporate, state and the country in an ongoing manner. Robert Anthony rightly says that when you blame others, you give up your power to change. Absolutely right. Some people or parties realise this later on, but are not brave enough to make any course correction and continue to be the slave of their bad habits. The inherent message of this attitude or habit is threefold: 1) It is not that easy to perform, but it is much easier to blame or complain 2) Whenever you point an accusing finger at someone, you have the other three fingers pointing at you and 3) The real boldness lies in reviewing your own actions, admitting the mistakes, laughing at yourselves and making suitable rectifications. Ralph Marston puts it in another way, 'Concern yourself more with accepting responsibility than with assigning blame. Let the possibilities inspire you more than the obstacles discourage you.’ So precisely speaking, there is no gain in the blame and complaint game. On the contrary, accepting our own mistakes is a positive gesture that shuts the doors for blaming, complaining, lying, manipulating etc., and thereby drives us on the path of improvement and progress.

As always, I'm keen to know what you think on this subject. Hence, I request you to post your comments to share your valuable opinion.  (hellomilansinha@gmail.com)

                    

# Published in my Sunday Column of "Morning India" daily.