We have been told repeatedly that listening is an art, a learning need and a democratic mindset. Famous American writer and Nobel Laureate Ernest Hemingway says, “I like to listen. I’ve learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” Many renowned persons from other fields did underline and endorse this opinion. But do the majority of people agree to this view of Hemingway and other luminaries?
It is generally observed that most people like to talk more.
They have lesser interest in listening, whereas it is a fact that you have to
be a good listener to become a good speaker. Interestingly, we have two ears to
listen and only one mouth to talk. One of the reasons may be to listen more and
talk less. It is said that when we talk, normally we repeat what we already
know, but when we listen, we learn something new.
In some job competitions, group discussion is an integral part of the final selection process where the short-listed candidates participate in discussion on different subjects in different groups. During this process the members of the expert panel evaluate the requisite qualities of each candidate mostly by observing the performance of the participants. There too it is observed that a few participants use to counter the views of other participants too loudly and sometimes in shouting tone even without listening properly. Actually, they seem to behave in the same fashion as we normally see some panel members behave in some TV channel discussions during prime time. As the wise TV watchers don’t like this and change the channel or stop watching the show, similarly the experts of group discussion don’t like such behaviour of participants and give their decision accordingly. The truth is simple. Listening well is not only an affirmation of your paying respect to the speaker, but also a necessary condition to make every communication process meaningful.
Actually, those
students who listen to their teachers, professors or coaches sincerely in
school, college, university or coaching classes, they gain a good understanding
of the subject. On the contrary, many students, despite being present in the
class physically, don’t pay attention to what the teachers teach as they are
mentally engaged somewhere else. Interestingly, they do know that not listening
sincerely or listening half-heartedly is going to impact them badly, but they
fail to mend their ways till they receive a serious jerk or a big blow. Yes, it
is also found that some people listen to the speaker not to learn new things or
understand the subject, but to ask some questions which are mostly irrelevant
or unrelated to the subject. Another noteworthy point is that the result of
listening haphazardly or in a piecemeal manner is generally found to be
disadvantageous and sometimes fatal. Naturally, we should desist from indulging
in such activities.
The renowned
writer and management expert Del Carnegie asserts that there are two important
reasons for listening well to another person. First is the opportunity to learn
new things and second is the happiness another person – the speaker derives
when somebody listens to him or her sincerely. Obviously, listening is
beneficial not only for the listener or interviewer but also important for
every communicator at every place all the time. To say, listening is a very
important skill for better interpersonal relationships and effective
communication. Bryant H. McGill says rightly that one of the sincerest forms of
respect is actually listening to what another person has to say. If you go
through the biographies of the great people of the world and also observe the
behaviour pattern of good and renowned persons of the world, you will find that
they are very good at listening to everybody and talking to them effectively.
As always, I'm keen to know what you think on this subject. Hence, I request you to post your comments to share your valuable opinion. (hellomilansinha@gmail.com)
# Published in my Sunday Column of "Morning India" daily.
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